Today, Rat Kiley, a medic, shot himself in the foot. I can understand why he was going through hell through this war. I blame myself, because maybe I could've stopped it. After Ted, Lemon, Kiowa, I just feel worthless because I don't think I'm a very good leader, and now Rat had to shoot himself in the foot, and he got flown to Japan to recover. I brought my men to the shit field and that's where Kiowa died, I blame myself for that everyday. I don't know who is going to be next. I just want this war to be over, I don't want to be here anymore. I don't know how to lead these men. Riley finally snapped and I might soon too. Also, Tim told us about her love Linda, which reminded me of Martha. It made me kind of jealous because he actually had Linda, and I never really had Martha. You can't mix love and war together, which is probably why I'm not the best leader, and because I don't want to be in this war anyways. I feel really bad that she had to die, and I don't know what I would do if Martha would die, she's the only thing that's keeping me going. I still have to photograph in my pocket.
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Jimmy, you know none of us men blame you for the deaths of anyone's death. All of us men blame ourselves sometimes. But what we got to understand is we are a team, and we go down together. If one of us screw up, we all screw up. Jimmy, being a leader is about bravery and you got it! You just got to understand that no ones to blame, all of us are to blame.
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